Monday, September 5, 2011
The first problem that I noticed with the e-mail is the beginning paragraph. It is extremely unclear and way too technical. This already loses the readers attention. Besides this, the e-mail does not clearly state how this new process is going to work. The readers it applies to are going to be confused and might mess up. To make this attempt a little better, the writer should have simply sent everyone an e-mail saying here are the new guidelines for the new e-mail system and simply list them. Clear, simple, and to the point. Also, an extra tip at the bottom could consist of why they are changing the e-mail system and the benefits the new system provides.